Sunday, June 24, 2018

How I Got Past My PAST



Today I wanted to share something that God has been putting on my heart for a long time now; I want to share my testimony with you and talk to you guys honestly and truly about my past. What I think is so cool about life is how we are all called into different circumstances, born into different families, experience different things, meet different people, have totally different personalities & likings, yet we all have a PURPOSE and we all have a beautiful STORY. I am here today to tell you mine for the first time ever. I want to share my testimony with all of you not only so you guys can get to know me on a personal, more deep level but because I feel like God calls us to tell our story. It makes us all uniquely who we are and our story can help have an impact on another person's life and there is nothing more powerful or more beautiful than that. 

So where do I start? I guess I will start where it all began. I grew up in Spartanburg, SC. My parents had me when they were 18 years old. Obviously 18 is very young and having a kid at this young of an age brings very difficult circumstances. I spent my early childhood living in a trailer, then moving multiple times until we finally ended up moving into my grandmother's house where I continued to live until college. I wouldn't say my childhood was spectacular but I also wouldn't say it was horrible. There were definitely good times but also many bad. I will say that I didn't realize my childhood was different from most other people I knew until around middle school and high school. That was the age when I really realized that money was an issue and that I couldn't afford to do a lot of the things that my other friends were able to do, much less keep up with appearances (Holister was expensive!) and all of the things that sadly define kids growing up these days. My parents fought a ton, mostly due to money and my dad's addiction. I found myself many nights locked in my room with my head in between my legs praying it would all just go away. Luckily and somehow by the grace of God alone, I had a desire to be better and a desire to know God and I didn't allow my circumstances to define me. I was always in church, going on mission trips, church trips, surrounding myself around other Christians and had a heart for the Lord. I feel like this alone is what helped me from not letting my circumstances control my future. I knew that God had more for me and although my situation may have been different than a lot of other people I knew, God had a plan for my life and everything was happening for a reason. Even on the days and nights when it was hard, I kept the faith that everything would be okay. I studied hard, I got all A's in High School, got accepted into Clemson University, and became the first person out of my immediate family to go to college. 

So then college happened. Man, was college fun. The first 3 years of college were some of the best of my life. I joined a sorority, met some of the best girls who are still my best friends to this day, and just lived life to the fullest. I loved this new freedom that I had and was slowly realizing that I was my own person, made my own decisions, and I was growing into the woman that God was forming me to be. I was truly living life to the fullest and can say that there were times when I don't think I had a care in the world other than what I was going to wear to the next sorority function or how I was going to do on that Anatomy test. However, like with many people experiencing this new found freedom, came some poor decisions. 

Things really took a turn for me towards the end of my Junior year/Senior year. One night when I was with all of my roommates, we walked into our favorite bar at Clemson and saw the new bartender and  I immediately had that "oh my god, who is that???" feeling. It was a lusting feeling that I had never really had before and I just went with it. I immediately started flirting, put on my best face, and fast forward 3 months later, I am in a full on relationship with this guy. It was unlike any relationship I had ever been in before. It was exhilarating, it was fun, it was uncertain, it was a roller coaster but what I didn't realize at the time was how bad this relationship would truly be for me. Fast forward another 6 months later and this is when the red flags started showing. Slowly I started seeing signs of anger, signs of aggression, and signs of emotional abuse but I was already so invested in this whirl wind of a relationship that I wanted to ignore all of these signs. I had already gone through a bad break up my sophomore year of college and I didn't want to have to go through another one. I swear the mere thought of having to go through another heart break, another break up, months of mourning and crying, made me hold on so tight to this relationship. I didn't want it to fail. 

This relationship ended up being one of the hardest if not the hardest seasons of my life. I found myself dating someone and being in love with someone who not only was emotionally abusive but ended up being physically abusive. I completely changed as a person. Seriously, ask my friends. I went from being this happy go lucky girl who was so confident and never questioned herself to this super sensitive, super insecure, super depressed girl who I don't blame anyone for not wanting to be around. Let's just put it plain and simple, in this relationship I completely lost myself. I was told by this guy that I was fat, that I was ugly, that I always needed to do more and be more. Basically I was never good enough. This guy even went as far as telling me that everyone in my life hated me and talked bad about me and y'all I was so brain washed that I believed him. I suddenly became the girl who questioned everyone, who thought everyone was talking bad about me the second they turned around, and who shoved people away because of this. I then became even more wrapped up in this bad relationship because I was pushing all of these other people away thinking that they were the problem when really the problem was right in front of me. I guess love is blind right??

Well this relationship continued outside of college and that is probably when things really started to hit rock bottom. I found out this guy had cheated on me numerous times so there was zero trust and we were in a long distance relationship. What's funny is that before this relationship I would have never continued to date a guy that I found out cheated on me, much less cheated on me multiple times with multiple different girls but again, I was so BRAIN WASHED that I always somehow ended up turning a blind eye. Most of the time I actually believed that I was the problem. That if I was just more chill, or prettier, or a cooler girlfriend then maybe he wouldn't have cheated on me. All of these insecurities turned into a very sad person who developed depression, high anxiety, and even an eating disorder. I became soooooo skinny and started to have little desire to do anything. I was then working at a company which was really fast paced and I was so depressed that it was hard to keep up. After work I would be SO exhausted. Most of the time, as sad as it is to say, I would come home from work, eat a bowl of cereal, take my anxiety medicine, and drink wine until I fell asleep. Anything to not have to feel the pain. I was still dating this guy but had never felt more alone in my entire life. And as most of you can probably guess, when you are in an unhealthy relationship like this one, everything else becomes less important including friendships and my relationship with the Lord. During this season of my life, I had never felt more distant from the Lord and even started to question Him for really the first time in my entire life. I was in an on again off again relationship which in a way became this sick addiction. 

Fast forward a few months later and this guy came to finally visit me in Charlotte. Things ended up getting abusive and for the first time in 3 years, my eyes were starting to open. I finally started to realize that I HAD to get out of this relationship. Not only for my mental well being but for my physical well being. I no longer felt safe and knew this was not the plan that God had for me. Still, it was hard. Part of me was so scared to walk away. I was so close to his family and loved them like they were my own. I invested so many years and so much energy into this relationship trying to make it work. How would I feel when it was finally over? What if he changed and could truly be a better man? I mean every single thought that could have crossed my mind did. But at the end of the day, I knew what I had to do, it was just a matter of WHEN I was going to do it. 

This is when God stepped in and decided He was going to write my love story. Many of you probably don't know this, but my now husband and I worked together at my first job right out of college. I always thought he was a cutie in the office but obviously never let my mind even go anywhere near there because I had a boyfriend. So letting myself think he was cute was as far as it went. Well the weekend after this big, changing fight with my boyfriend we had a work conference that weekend in Atlanta. My then boyfriend (who I knew I was going to be shortly breaking up with) actually lived in Atlanta and there had been talks with my boss about me possibly moving to the Atlanta office one day so that we could finally be together. Well Cam (my now husband) caught word of that and finally decided to say something to me about it at this work conference in Atlanta. I will never forget it but I was standing there near the bar and he came up to me and said "Hey Katy, you may not ever talk to me again after I tell you this but I heard you may be moving to Atlanta at some point and I had to tell you I've had a crush on you ever since you started working with me and I would never forgive myself if you left and I never told you that." Y'all, those were the words that started at all. For the rest of the night and the rest of the entire weekend we hung out, talked for hours, and got to know each other on a friend level. I had never laughed so hard in my entire life and for the first time in almost 4 years, I suddenly felt happy. 

I left that weekend with major butterflies knowing what I had to do. I had to drive to my boyfriend's house that next weekend and do what I should have done years ago; finally call it quits. And that is just what I did. Y'all it was crazy the amount of bravery that God put over me that day. I swear I could have never done it on my own. He gave me so much courage and so much confidence. I knew I was doing the right thing, I did it, and I left with so much peace knowing that I finally made the right decision. I didn't know what was in store for Cam and I, but I was really excited to get back and have more of those hour long talks and laughs. Even if it didn't work out for Cam and I, I knew that God put him in my life for a reason. To remind me of what happiness feels like again, to find myself again, and to finally make the hard decision I knew deep down I needed to make for so many years. 

After that trip, Cam reached out, we went on our first date and we were inseparable that day ever since. I obviously had my guard up a little at first because I had just been in such a draining, unhealthy relationship but my walls quickly came down as Cam proved time and time again that he was nothing like my ex boyfriend. He was kind, he was genuine, he was all loving, he was forgiving, he was gentle, and most importantly he LOVED me and didn't judge me. He truly was everything that I could have ever imagined and more. He was my BEST FRIEND. And this, y'all, is this biggest difference. You will know when a relationship is right for you when you truly feel like you are hanging out with your best friend. You won't have any reservations and you will know that it is right time and time again. You will trust with your whole heart, you will laugh with everything in you, and you will forgive like God forgives you. This is the kind of relationship that God has for you and wants for you. Fast forward a few years later and Cam proposed, we got married and now I get to spend the rest of my life with the best man I've ever known.

I'm not going to lie, Cam and I aren't perfect. I have many trauma issues from my childhood and my past relationship that I have had to learn how to deal with throughout our marriage. Some days are better than others but most days are good. I deal with a lot of depression and anxiety and can tend to be on edge a lot and worry a lot. Cam is the opposite. He is very calm and very relaxed and is always helping to even me out. I try everyday to learn to be more like him because he truly is such a great human. But we grow and learn together and most importantly we forgive each other. We don't hold grudges and we try to love each other the best we can every single day. We may not be perfect but we are happy and I love knowing that God has so much more in store for us. 

I know this is a very long post and I commend any of you that actually took the time to read my story.  I really wanted to share some of my trauma and hard times with you guys to let you know that life isn't always easy. Life a lot of the times is actually really hard and there will be many bumps along the way. But I promise that if you just have faith, trust in the Lord, and learn to LISTEN to your heart when something doesn't feel right, everything will work out in the end. God works in mysterious ways and I am so glad that I went through everything that I had to go through. It has made me who I am today. I am finally back to my "normal" Katy self. I do still deal with insecurity issues but it's something I pray about and work on a daily basis. Although my road has been hard, I know that I went through it to be where I am at today. If I didn't go through such a terrible relationship, I might not truly appreciate the amazing husband I have in front of me today. If I had a perfect, amazing childhood I might not appreciate and work so hard for the things I have today. Everything works out for a reason and God has His hand on it all. And ladies, if you are in a bad relationship, I hope you can read my story and that it can give you strength to get out. You know what you deserve and what you don't. Don't waste precious time spending it on someone who doesn't appreciate you. I promise that God has someone amazing waiting on you. You just simply have to trust in that truth. 

I am so thankful that by trusting on God's perfect timing that I was able to get past my PAST. Since all of this has happened I have gone through some other hard things such as my parents getting a divorce, not having a relationship with my father anymore, and losing one of my best friends. But I know that God has a plan for all of these things and that they all happened for a reason. I know that I can have peace because He always comes through just like He did before.

"Jesus replied, "You don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will."-John 13:7 **Can I get an AMEN for this scripture? SO MUCH TRUTH**

I love you all so, so much and I am so thankful for each and every one of you.

XOXO, 
Katy

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74 comments

  1. Beautiful post!!! I hate to admit that although I follow you regularly on IG, I haven’t read a lot of your blog posts. I love blogs that are more in depth and give you an insight into the writer. When I saw your caption on IG, I knew I had to read it. I wrote a blog post about my testimony recently and it was soooo hard! I know how difficult this must have been to write. He is using you to reach out to so many women and I know your testimony will save someone from an unhealthy relationship. You should be proud! ��

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    1. I know what you mean. I enjoy writing more in depth personal blog posts as well. I actually love writing so being able to write is such a good outlet for me. I will make sure to start writing more meaningful blog posts. I am so glad that you took the time to read it. It means so much to me. I will definitely have to go read your testimony as well. So glad you were able to share your with the world too! :)

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    2. Such a nice post. So honest and personal. I am going to show my bff this to help her as she is in a bad relationship. We all do get insecure at times, it doesn't matter who we are, or what our age is. life is hard and God certainly does have a plan for all of us and to your point, I sincerely believe everything happens for a reason. And you meet everyone for a reason, season, or lifetime. Thank you for sharing and inspiring. Please keep doing what you do!

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  2. Hi Katie,

    I just recently started following your blog. I’m a budding blogger and LOVE your Instagram. It inspires me for content I’d want to create. My first impression of you is that you have a perfect life and were probably given everything in life. I had no idea this had happened to you or the journey you have been on. Your story is similar to mine and sharing this makes you more real. Thank you for sharing and making yourself vulnerable. ❤️ God really is all powerful and I know that without him I wouldn’t have made it out of my storm. I hope someone out there reads your story and gets the courage to make a positive change in their life, especially in regards to relationships.

    All my love,
    Maurah

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    1. Maurah,

      Thank you so much for your sweet words and for taking the time to read. It means more to me than you will ever know. I am glad that you know more about me now and that I was in no way given everything in life. It was quite the opposite. It is funny how social media can portray such a perfect life though! I really hope my message can help at least one person. I am so glad that you made it out of your storm and that you leaned on the Lord. God bless you sweet girl!!

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  3. You are adorable and I’m so happy that you know how much God loves you. I love that you shared such a vulnerable part of yourself to give God glory. Our testimony is who He has seen us to always be, not what others have tried to make us believe. Proud of you for sharing, speaking up and most importantly believing God and not the lies told over and over. Good for you! Happy to be following you and indulging in your beautiful words and talent. Love getting to know you better. Such a beauty inside and out.

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    1. Jannel you are soooo sweet. Your words just brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for taking the time to read. It means more to me than you will ever know!

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  4. You are such a beautiful person inside and out. I’m so happy to be following you, getting to know you and I love how much you love the Lord. Most importantly I love that you know how much He loves you. What a beautiful story! Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable peice of you with us. Although it is so sad to hear about your hard times it is with out a doubt God has helped you come out swinging! Go get em girl!! The world is your oyster.

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  5. Katy,
    This is truly inspirational. You are beautiful on the inside and out. It was so brave to share your story with others.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading Joanna. It means the world to me. I appreciate you so much!

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  6. Katy, thank you so much for sharing your testimony! Thank you for being brave. It is wonderful to read about your love for God! You are doing a great job and setting a wonderful example for other women. God is an amazing Father and always has the best plan for us. Trusting Him is truly what gives us joy and peace in this crazy world. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Taylor thank you SO much for taking the time to read my testimony. It means more to me than you will ever know. God really is an amazing Father and I am so glad that you believe in that truth as well! God bless you!

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  7. This was brave! I’m so incredibly honored for you to have shared this with me and your other followers. And I’m so thankful for Cam! Haha. Keep being you. You radiate kindness and you are seriously stunning. All the best from Kansas City!

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the tine to read. It means so much to me! And yes thank God for Cam! He is one of my greatest gifts. God bless you sweet girl!

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  8. I lived your story as well...only difference I was married to him for13 years. Physical, emotional and sexual abuse. The words he used way back then still haunt me at times. I too felt worthless, insecure, ugly...he told me I was used foods and no one would ever want me. After miscarrying both of our sons he told me I wasn’t woman enough to have a child. However the joke was in him, I got remarried, had a child and he could never ha e children. Funny how karma work. Thank you for sharing your story...as you see you are not alone. But I too believe God puts us where we are supposed to be when we are supposed to be there. We wouldn’t be who we are today without all we w t through and I think we turned out okay. God bless you Katy.

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and even more for sharing your story with me. I am so sorry that you had to go through something similar, especially in marriage. I can't even begin to imagine that kind of pain. I am so glad that you were able to get out of that and start a family with someone better. I hope that you are so much happier. God is so good and He really does come through. God bless you Nicki!

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  9. This is beautiful! God is so good! I can relate on so many levels, keep pushing a God’s got it & you! Love you ❤️ Thank you for sharing

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    1. Thank you SO much for reading. It means the world to me!!! God bless you!

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  10. Thank you for being so willing and vulnerable to share! I'm so glad to hear that you got out of that relationship and ended up with the man who God planned for you!

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    1. Thank you so much for reading Caroline! It means so much to me. Yes, I am so glad that God gave me Cam. He is the best man that I could ever imagine! God is so good!!

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  11. Thank you so much for your vulnerability ❤️

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    1. Of course. Thank you SO much for reading. God bless you!

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  12. AMEN for that scripture!!! You are so strong Katy girl. Thank you for sharing your testimony with us, when I know it was far from easy to do. You're an inspiration to me and so many other young women. I pray that God keeps working through you and using you to be a light!

    xx, Tomi
    http://goodtomicha.com

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    1. Girl you are such an inspiration to me too!!! Thank you SO much for reading. It means the absolute world to me. You are such a light and I am so glad that I get to follow along on your journey. God bless you sweet girl!

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  13. Love that you shared your story! You are a true beauty!

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    1. Thank you SO much for reading. It means the world to me!!!

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  14. Thanks so much for being open and sharing your story! I can definitely relate and love hearing how God works! 💗

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    1. Thank you so much for reading Emily and especially for your sweet words. It means a lot to me. God bless you!

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  15. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Katy. I'm sure it wasn't easy to put yourself out there and it took a lot of strength. You have such a light about you, I would never guess you had so much hurt behind that smile! It just goes to show that you never know what kind of battles people are fighting. I love reading your blog! Thank you for being so honest and sharing your life!

    Ashley
    Tinygoldfox.com

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    1. Ashley, thank you so much for your sweet words and for taking the time to write this sweet comment to me. It means more than you will ever know. And you are right, you truly never know what battles people are fighting or where they have come from. That's the funny thing about social media; it paints this perfect picture that is not always the case. God bless you sweet girl!

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  16. Katy,
    This is absolutely beautiful. I am so proud of you for speaking up about things that are hard and real and rough. This is so refreshing to read, you speak for so many.
    Xoxo,
    Virginia

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    1. Thank you so much for reading, Virginia. It means so so much to me. God bless you!

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  17. This was so beautiful Katy. It made me cry reading it because I can relate SO MUCH to what you spoke of. I'm so thankful to read your story and am blessed to have found you on IG. I'm not a fashion blogger, but a vegan food blogger, haha, and somehow you popped up and I've been inspired by your sweet genuine personality and heart on your posts. Thank you for being brave and sharing. I'm so very happy you found the love of your life. He sounds like a gem!

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    1. Aw Brandi! Thank you so much for your sweet words and for taking the time to read. What is your IG handle? I would love to follow along with you. Your support means everything to me. God bless you sweet girl!

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  18. Thank you for sharing your heart. I see God has equipped you with wisdom and courage in speaking through your testimony. May He always be your Light and your Hope. I'm blessed by your heart.

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    1. You are so so sweet. Thank you for taking the time to read. It means more to me than you will ever know!

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  19. Such an open and honest post Katy! You are such an amazing woman and I’m so happy to have gotten to know you through blogging! Posts like these help so many girls growing through similar things see they’re not alone! 💕

    xo Kathryn

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    1. Thank you so much for reading Kathryn. It means the world to me. And thank you for your sweet words. I appreciate you so much!

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    1. Thank you SO much for taking the time to read!!!

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  21. Katy, thank you so so much for sharing your story! I have a very similar past to yours and as much as I hate hearing that someone as sweet as you went through any hard time, it’s so inspiring to hear that and to know where you are today! My life was “perfect” until I turned 10 and my mom, who was my best friend, was diagnosed with cancer. She past away a month after I turned 11, just 8 months after she was diagnosed. She was the glue that held my family together and after she past away my family completely fell apart. My dads alcoholism got significantly worse and he’d be gone for weekends at a time, my sister acted out so much that my grandmother sent her to military school 6 hours away, my dads side and my moms side stop talking completely and I was 11 years old and caught in the middle of all of it. My dad then moved me from Charleston, SC - the only home I’ve ever known - to a little farm town in NC that I’d never heard of. Then enters the mentally abusive boyfriend. He told me all the same things that your ex told you and I wanted to feel loved so badly that I believed him. My dad and I stoped talking and I even gave myself to him when I knew I wasn’t ready just because I convinced myself that if I gave him that then he’d stop cheating on me, I was wrong. Fast forward to senior year and he told me I wasn’t allowed to go to prom and that was my final straw. So I dumped him, bought the shortest, tightest dress I could find and went with my friends and had the best time! The last thing he ever said to me was “no guy will ever want you for anything more than your body” and my goodness that hit me hard. I moved back to Charleston a week after high school and spent a year being very depressed and going out and drinking a lot at 18 years old. Then I met Luke. He changed everything around for me. Now 5 years later we’re happily married and have a beautiful baby girl (Lydia, named after my mom) who just turned one and my self confidence is at an all time high. Things have still and will still get a little bumpy from time to time because my family still fights all the time and Luke is 3 years sober so that challenge wasn’t easy but together we can accomplish anything. I’m sorry this comment was so long but you’ve inspired me to share my story with you or anyone else reading this. Thank you again so much for sharing, you truly are such an inspiration! @ellaelston - instagram

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    1. Elizabeth, thank you sooooo much for sharing your story! You have no idea how much it means to me. I am so proud of you for doing that and I am so glad to hear that you are happy now and have a beautiful family. I'm so sorry that you had to go through something as similar as me because I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I appreciate you reading my story more than you will ever know. God bless you sweet girl!!

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  22. this is so beautiful girl!
    Thanks so much for sharing this. I love how God has completely transformed your life and I absolutely love that you shared something personal - it's refreshing!

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    1. You are soooo sweet! Thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to comment. It means so much to me!

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  23. I’m so glad you talked about this!! I too, was in a horrible, toxic and emotionally abusive relationship and I lost several friends from it. It changed me and even two years later I’m still traumatized by the things he would say to me. Long story short, it’s so nice knowing there are other girls out there who have been through the same thing! None of my friends or family understood why I stayed with him so it’s nice knowing I’m not alone! ��

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    1. It is refreshing to hear that I am not alone. People who have never been through something like that don't get it at all and I am so sorry to hear that you had to go through something similar. Losing friends is one of the hardest parts about it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. It means the world to me!

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  24. This is amazing. You are so strong for writing this to all your readers. People don't see this side through all the pictures on social media and totally think that your life must be perfect since it all seems so glamorous online. I applaud you on your strength and am so happy that God provided you with all that you deserve! I can relate so much when you said that even if things didn't work out with your now husband you needed that at the time to realize that you needed out of your past. I said these same words to myself at one time and am now married to what you could call "my Cam"! I wish you so much happiness in your life as you deserve it all!

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  25. You are such an Inspiration!!! Amen!!! Xoxo

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  26. You are such an Inspiration.... Amen!! Xoxo

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  27. Such an inspiring and beautiful post! God’s plan is bigger than we could ever imagine and you are right, sometimes we just have to wait and be patient. Thank you for sharing, what an amazing story.

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  28. Thank you for sharing your testimony. I believe God honors those that take that step of faith! I have a similar testimony so, i loved reading yours. Jesus makes all the difference, and waiting on the Godly man God has for you is so well worth the wait, amen to that!!

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  29. I love following your Instagram and new right away that I wanted to read this blog post. I commend you for opening up and telling your story. Even through your pain and traumatic experiences, where someone could be so mad at the world, you dealt through these hardships with grace. You and this story might be the light at the end of the tunnel for some. Thanks for sharing!

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  30. Great post! I feel like I know you better and kudos for being brave and sharing your story. I am not religious but I am glad you had a source of strength to pull you through those tough times. My husband is also my cool spring since I can be an anxious mess so I feel I can relate to that sense!

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  31. Thank you for sharing your story and being so vulnerable with all of your followers. Your so incredibly genuine, open and honest and I appreciate that, especially in this day of social media everywhere.

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  32. This is an extremely moving and powerful post. I follow you on Instagram and don’t know what made me read your blog today but I am grateful I did. I am so happy you had the courage to share your story, personally I wonder if I’d seen it a year ago if it would have changed my path or ultimately it was a journey I still had to take. Honestly sharing your story is so strong and must have taken so much courage, I am truly inspired.

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  33. Thank you for sharing Katy. Your a true inspiration. I was in a verbal and emotional abusive marriage for many years. I lost a lot of weight, became sick, my anxiety and depression was not good. I finally had enough and moved out. Still dealing with the divorce after 3 years because he wants to control everything still. But I am in a better place and couldn't be happier. Thank you for sharing your story. Margaret

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  34. Thank you Katy for sharing your testimony. You're absolutely right, God has a plan for each of us and everything we go thru is part of the plan and is meant to help us grow, even if we can't see it at the moment. I admire your strength and your faith and I truly believe your testimony can help other women going thru similar situations, or just helping others to lean on the Lord and surrender to his will. Hugs to you.

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  35. Katy,

    First off, thank you for sharing this story! I definitely feel like I know you better now and I appreciate you taking the time to share this! I am SO HAPPY everything has worked out for the best and I know you are too! You are such an inspiration and ray of light for many women, including me, and I love seeing your happy face (and insane legs haha!) on my feed! XOXO

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  36. I cannot say how much I love your heartfelt, honest and imperfect story. It reminds me of my own story, and I can say that God has also blessed me with THE perfect husband, after many unhealthy, ugly, unappreciative relationships. Seriously, I love you for always being unlike other bloggers, for always being YOU. Cam + You, and my husband Dustin + I (Paula) are all imperfect humans brought together by a higher power to form PERFECT relationships. Thank you for posting this, I read it out loud to my husband and it made us both smile and feel appreciative for what we have (just as you do)!
    God bless and stay true to yourself, know that you are loved by your genuine followers, God, Cam, your friends and fam!

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  37. Thank you for sharing! It’s truly inspiring to hear. I myself am a new blogger ang I’m in the process of overcoming a career change due to medical issues and just learning how to deal with insecurities in general.

    Check out my blog to learn more about my story, mommy style, wedding planning and much more!

    www.unbrandedhippie.com

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  38. I think it is so admirable how open you were in this post. You are such an inspiration and example of being able to build the life you want!

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  39. Beautiful post! I was in the same situation in college and post college and I believe with faith and trust that GOD has a plan for us. God is buliding us a path that we don't know about but we must never give up and always keep our faith! Thank you for sharing this post! I follow you on IG and I think you are an inspiratopn, btw I lvoe your clothing! I love fashion and you have incrdeible style. Keep it up girl! Many blessings!

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  40. Katy,

    Not only is this absolutely beautiful, but it is so relate-able to me and my history. Currently in the stages of starting a new happy, healthy and FUN relationship. So personally, reading this made me tear up a bit! Interesting knowing there are others that have a similar story to your own. Thank you so much for sharing. I love your IG - always such great inspo!

    Xoxo

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  41. I follow you in instagram but didn't know anything about you other than your fabulous style and really great smile! Thank you for sharing! I really enjoyed reading and you'll be in my prayers! Thank God for His Grace and timing for all of us!

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  42. So glad I saw this post. I can totally relate to your entire story from the tough childhood, a 6 year abusive relationship in college to finally finding my amazing husband. You seem like a beautiful person inside and out and love all your IG post! ��

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  43. Katy, I started following you on Instagram because of my love for fashion and love everything you post. It is my dream to move to charlotte and I saw that you lived there and decided to check out your blog to see if you posted anything about Charlotte, when I came across this post. I definitely can relate to this and was brain washed for many years on and off by someone who was manipulative and verbally abusive. We grow stronger as we move on and learn we deserve better. I look forward to reading more of your stories. Thank you for sharing! Xoxo, Mycale

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  44. Katy, I started following you on Instagram because of my love for fashion and love everything you post. It is my dream to move to charlotte and I saw that you lived there and decided to check out your blog to see if you posted anything about Charlotte, when I came across this post. I definitely can relate to this and was brain washed for many years on and off by someone who was manipulative and verbally abusive. We grow stronger as we move on and learn we deserve better. I look forward to reading more of your stories. Thank you for sharing! Xoxo, Mycale

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  45. I am just now finding this. Realized that I know someone you went to high school with. Small world, huh? This post brought tears to my eyes because some of it sounds similar to what I have been through. Thank you for sharing. Your story gives me hope. I hope one day I can have a love story like yours.

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  46. I know you posted this a long time ago but I just stumbled upon your blog! I recently just broke up with my ex of almost 8 years. It was a very toxic relationship from the start, cheating, etc. But I always thought he would change or perhaps I was doing something wrong. Things started to get worse and I finally got the courage to break up with him for good. I know God has a plan for me and my story is not done being written. I hope to find someone one day like you did that appreciate me and treats me the way I deserve to be treated! Also small world, I just started travel nursing and my first assignment is in Greenville, which is close to Spartanburg!

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  47. Greetings, Katy! I think this is my first time commenting here.

    You are a beautiful lady- not just on the outside, but within as well. It is great for you to open up and be real about your dark past. One's past can adversely affect the future, but you managed to stay strong despite past troubles. You showcase your strength very well. I can only hope for bigger and brighter things for you moving forward. So please take care of yourself and be well.

    johnbmarine.blogspot.com

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  48. Dearest Katy,
    WOW! Your story shares so much truth, strength, happiness and faith, it touched me dearly how similar we all are in these experiences yet feel so alone when we are going through them. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and past, it connects so many and when nothing is certain everything is possible! Your blog, fashion and travel stories inspire us daily, I always look forward to the next one, it motivates my own travel and fashion ideas! You deserve every happiness, God bless x Fiona @healthyglobalgoddess

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  49. Hi Katy,
    WOW! Your story is truly inspiring and very relatable, THANK YOU for sharing your past experiences and learnings! Whether it be depression, anxiety and/or various types of abuse it can feel very lonely, yet so many are having similar experiences on their own paths! These moments connect us all, we are not alone. Onwards and upwards! You inspire so many every day with your strength, faith, positivity and passion, I always look forward to your travel and fashion posts, Best wishes and God bless x Fiona

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